Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Über-Short Star Trek: Voyager Summaries - Season One

Caretaker: Oh, no! 70,000 light years from home! Our intrepid captain must join forces with the Maquis and save the Ocampa from the Kazon (the new bad Badies!) by blowing up the dying Caretaker's array. Alas! The crew is stranded.

Parallax: Lots of technobable and B'Elanna gets to be chief engineer. Oh, and they "break" the event horizon of a black hole in order to get out. (People of science people die quietly in side, here in the 21st century.) And the Doctor shrinks.

Time and Again: A time travel episode. Quickly, Janeway and Paris must be saved, but, oh the irony, the rescue mission is what would cause the catastrophe in the first place.

Phage: Are two Badies too many? Voyager answers, "No!" Meet the Vidiians, a sad bunch all dying and harvesting body parts. We feel less bad when they steal Neelix's lungs though.

The Cloud: A mission to get Janeway coffee goes terribly wrong! Energy is lost instead of gained, yet another space-dwelling life form is injured. Next week Janeway will have to try the coffee substitute.

Eye of the Needle: Everyone misses home - a lot. The Romulans are the good guys, a bit more time travel, and a lot of disappointment.

Ex Post Facto: Ooo, Latin! Paris gets in trouble with a woman but this time it is serious. Murder charges must be dropped when Tuvok proves Paris innocent based on "the eye witness of a dog."

Emanations: Kim dies round one!

Prime Factors: A way, way too hospitable group try to get the crew of Voyager to stay. Someone flirts with Janeway. They don't get home, but Tuvok and B'Elanna get in a lot of trouble. And we learn once again that Seska is a b*tch.

State of Flux: Our dislike of Seska increases when she gives technology to the Kazon. Boo! Hiss! Ew, and she flirts with Chakotay who is not fooled this time.

Heroes and Demons: Old English poetry meets science fiction when the Doctory must rescue Kim, Tuvok, and Chakotay from a Beowulf holonovel.

Cathexis: Chakotay helps while "dead." The ships needs to be saved from the nebula. Tuvok goes crazy and tries to kill everyone - don't worry he was under the influence of an alien symbiont.

Faces: B'Elanna is just a Klingon. No, wait, she is just a human. The Vidiians do some evil experiments, and we get to see what Roxann Dawson looks like without make-up.

Jetrel: Neelix recalls the an event on his planet that parallels the catastrophe of the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki on Earth.

Learning Curve: Season One ends in a bit of a fizzle. Tuvok runs boot camp and everyone gets all last-day-of-camp-in-middle-school emotive.

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